Stella Blue Coffee: A Totally unbiased and impartial review
Photo courtesy of Stella Blue
Anyone who keeps up with the latest drinks in the caffeine world has noticed that a new brand of coffee was recently released to stunning reviews on Amazon. This coffee brand is Stella Blue, owned by Dan Katz (AKA Barstool Big Cat).
Now I have to start this blog with a disclaimer. Myself and a majority of the Caffeine Shark team are BIG fans of Barstool. The podcasts they release (e.g. Macrodosing, Pardon My Take, Spittin Chiclets, The Yak) are the first thing that most of us listen to on our way to work in the morning. I have to professionally admit that Big Cat may be my favorite blogger/podcast host/moustache wearer of the whole Barstool team.
However, I am a man who suffers from severe acid reflux every time I drink coffee. Every sip I take of coffee makes me experience enough dry heaving to make those around me think I got an unchewed hot dog stuck in my gullet. Given that I have built up zero tolerance and have stayed primarily with energy drinks in my adult life, I think I will be able to offset my fangirling for the owner of this drink and write a review full of journalistic integrity.
Editor's note: The following was written after sampling the first cup of Stella Blue Coffee.
The setting was perfect. It was the first Saturday that was over 45 degrees outside. I just made myself a platter of fresh baked goods including a scone and a muffin. I had a good book and was ready to take on the day starting with a cup of coffee.
Everything I just said is a lie. In reality I was recovering from a Friday night with a sausage McGriddle from McDonalds, sitting on my couch contemplating taking Nyquil so that I could sort of veto this new reality (not medical advice). I can't help but think that Big Cat would be happy I'm choosing this environment to sample his new product.
I had his coffee black, no cream, no sugar. It was the Big Cat Medium Roast. I tried to follow his instructions on quantities carefully but felt like eyeballing the amount of grounds I put in would be the best path. Let me tell you that I was NOT disappointed whatsoever.
First of all, my typical issue of gagging when I drink black coffee was in no way an issue. The coffee went down smoothly with no issue. When it comes to the actual taste of the coffee, I can't come up with elegant adjectives as I suffer from smooth brain syndrome, so all I can say is it was refreshing. The coffee was the perfect amount of bitter (the expected amount but not too much) and you could taste the different ingredients in the after taste (I have 0 idea what those ingredients are but they are THERE).
Then came the "after feeling". I'm not quite sure what was in this roast but I felt a warm "comforting" rush run through my body after each sip. I expect he put just a smidge of ecstasy in each bag (allegedly) causing my endorphins to briefly open. I will be testing this theory by running 10 bags through a centrifuge and finding test subjects for each chemical solution produced.
Editor's note: This expense report is definitely getting denied. Unless Big Cat wants to chip in for the centrifuge... which would be on brand after the lottery ball machine.
Lastly comes the awake and alert feeling I hit me after. To a man who damn near IVs caffeine on a daily basis I realize I may have a slight bias. What I can tell you is I was able to recover from the "predicament" I found myself in. I was not too jittery but I was still able to wake up and get a semblance of productivity in during the day.
One last item for this coffee brand I would like to include on a serious note is the philanthropic side of this coffee brand. Stella Blue is named after Big Cat's dog who was rescue from a Chicago dog shelter. To that end he has pledged a portion of all proceeds from Stella Blue to go to help dogs continue to finding their forever homes. As a man who has loved dogs ore than people my entire life (mostly because they put up with my insane ramblings more than other living individuals) I love this mission and I hope he finds a lot of success with it.
In conclusion, I loved the coffee. I am giving it an unbiased score of 9.4/10. I loved this coffee and I cannot wait for him to come up with new and exciting roasts.
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