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  • Writer's pictureCameron Copeland

Most Repulsive Energy Drinks

Everyone wants to talk about the best energy drinks out there, and I get it. You don’t browse an energy drink review website to find something mediocre; you want the best. Trying new drinks is usually fun and exciting, but there are simply some drinks that you want to avoid.

Now maybe you’re more daring and this list of drinks will be intriguing to you for some sick, twisted reason, but here you will find the worst of the worst. Here are our five lowest-rated energy drinks.

5. Rockstar Thermo Neon Blast (1.8/10)

Not only are the taste and mouthfeel unpleasant, but this is by far the worst smelling energy drink out there. It straight up tastes like rancid cotton candy. If the smell in not repulsive enough, then the aftertaste will be enough to deter you from ever consuming this drink again. It just lingers for far too long. I had to brush my teeth and use mouthwash multiple times each before I kicked the aftertaste.

The smell it leaves on your breath is equally as bad. If you are trying to hype yourself for that special date with a great 300mg kick, this ain’t it. Sure, you may feel energized, but there will certainly not be a second date.

Where to purchase:

4. Jocko GO Black Cherry Vanilla (1.4/10)

I actually have not tried this just yet, but this snippet from its only review left me intrigued:

“The worst energy drink I've ever had. My dreams of Black Cherry and Vanilla were crushed by a horribly bitter taste. The bitterness had me checking the label for the wrong flavor, expiration dates, and bizarre ingredients. Unfortunately, nothing was off. I didn't even make it through half of the can.”

Sounds great! Since I have not tried this personally, I asked Matt (shark) to share his thoughts on the product:

“I believe my initial quote should have painted you a picture on how repulsive I found the drink. Just in case you didn’t get the full picture, know that I have not had the drink since my initial review. Perhaps I will try it again just to confirm if my perception of a ’spoiled cherry juice’ flavor is still correct; honestly though, I am not quite ready.”


Where to purchase:

3. Bang Mango Bango (1.4/10)

Bitter and bland. That was my description from the get-go. The mango is hardly recognizable, and it just leaves a bitter feeling in your mouth. 300mg of caffeine is a lot, and most brands understand that strong flavors or certain sweeteners are needed to mask the caffeine’s natural bitterness. Not Bang though; they just put stuff out there and see what happens.

Also, the can is green and white. Have they ever seen a mango before? NOS Nitro Mango has an orange can. Ghost Tropical Mango has an orange can. Hell, even Rowdy Peach Mango has more orange on the can. The Monster Logo on their Mango Loco is orange, Adrenaline Shoc Peach Mango has an orange can… you get the point. It just does not make sense to me. Unless there is a green “Bango” no one is telling me about, it just seems like this whole product was thrown together haphazardly and distributed to you and me without a second thought.

Where to purchase:

2. Rockstar XDurance Cotton Candy (1.1/10)

I explicitly state in my Bang Mango Bango review that the only worse energy drink I had consumed at that point in time was Rockstar Cotton Candy. Similarly to Rockstar Thermo Neon Blast, the can is far superior to the quality of the beverage itself. My blurb states:

“Rockstar Cotton Candy tastes like cotton candy shoved in a caffeine-filled vat of carbonated water. It is truly disgusting and not worth your time.”

It really does taste like someone shoved cotton candy into bitter seltzer water. There is nothing redeeming about this whatsoever. The aftertaste is just plain bad, and the initial mouthfeel is no better. Maybe I just dislike cotton candy drinks more than most, but it is the overall combination of flavor, smell, mouthfeel, and aftertaste that makes it this so repulsive.

Where to purchase:

1. Rambler Sparkling Energy Peach (1.1/10)

There is something I simply do not understand about our worst rated beverage, and that is how it is still in circulation. It literally tastes like dirt. It does not possess a strong bitter taste to turn you off like Rockstar XDurance Cotton Candy or have the repulsive smell of Rockstar Thermo Neon Blast, it simply tastes like someone poured some dirt into a can of sparkling water.

There are also only 75mg of caffeine in the entire can, so they should not have to mask the bitterness all that much. It delivers no kick upon completion, and does not even help to give you a midday pick-me-up. There is truly no redeeming quality about Rambler Sparkling Energy Peach. The only reason it is a 1.1/10 and not a 1.0/10, well, you will find out in just a moment.

Where to purchase:

Personal Worst

I also want to give a special shoutout to my personal lowest rated energy drink, Bang Birthday Cake Bash. Not only did I give it a 1.0/10, the lowest possible rating, but I actually increased the ratings of other drinks simply to show how putrid it is compared to everything else. Here is a quote from my review:

“By the time I was halfway done, I was feeling sick to my stomach. Every time it hit my tongue, I wanted to vomit. I had to pour the rest of it down the drain. This is the single worst energy drink I have ever had.”

So there you have it. It is the most vile, disgusting, unpalatable, (hold on, opening a thesaurus) revolting, stomach-churning, nauseating, and utterly repulsive beverage that I have ever had. If this intrigues you, then you can find it through our affiliate link:

Seriously though, I do not understand how this is not the lowest rated beverage. While one of the other sharks shared my thought process, the other gave it a 4.6/10. That is absurd. Even the sole user review has it down at a 1.0/10.

If you are interested in reading our full reviews for Bang Birthday Cake Bash, you can fin them all here:

Worst Brand

I would also like to give a special shoutout to my least favorite brand, Rip It (unless we get a sponsorship of course). Any chance I get to bash Rip It makes me happy. I unnecessarily mention it in my reviews of Reign Mang-O-Matic, Rowdy Strawberry Lemonade, Wired X344, and many others. A direct quote from my Celsius Sparkling Cola review:

“It is still better than some of the lesser energy drink brands such as Rip It…”

So now you know how serious I am about this take. Some of their options are admittedly better than others, but their base energy blend just makes their drinks taste overly artificial across the board. Now sometimes I can get on board with a good artificial beverage, but this just tastes like it should not be entering your body. That may technically be the case with most energy drinks… but I digress.

Our worst rated Rip It selection is Rip It Tribute C.Y.P.-X (even the name is stupid), and I personally have not even added my low score to our reviews yet. It just goes to show how it is not only me, but all of us caffeine connoisseurs who cannot stand the taste of Rip It.

Where to Purchase:

There you have it. These are our worst rated energy drinks, along with couple of additions I simply could not leave out. If you are daring and maybe hate yourself just a little bit like the rest of us, go ahead and give some of these a try. Let us know how you like them. I can guarantee you that if nothing else, trying these will at least be an experience that your taste buds will never forget.

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